1
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:29,150
I'm H -A -P -P -Y, I'm H -A -P -P -Y,

2
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:35,969
I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm H -A -P
-P

3
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:42,510
-Y. I know I am, I'm sure I am, he's H
-A -P -P -Y.

4
00:00:43,741 --> 00:00:48,289
Figures, I wondered if you could do me a
favour.

5
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:50,889
Of course, Doctor, as long as you don't
want me to lift anything heavy.

6
00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:54,080
With my problems, the last thing I want
at the moment is a hernia.

7
00:00:54,081 --> 00:00:57,629
It's quite simple. I want you to have a
chat to the new patient in the side

8
00:00:57,630 --> 00:01:00,150
ward. I'm worried about him. Say no
more, Doctor.

9
00:01:00,151 --> 00:01:02,069
You think you've missed something?

10
00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:05,369
Not exactly, Figgis. Well, put your mind
at rest. I had a good look at him this

11
00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:08,349
afternoon when he came in. There's
nothing to worry about. Nothing serious,

12
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:12,189
is. I noticed a lopsided grin and the
twitching of the face. And as far as I'm

13
00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:14,540
concerned, he's suffering from Bell's
palsy.

14
00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:17,550
Figgis, he'd been drinking.

15
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,270
Did he? I didn't know that.

16
00:01:19,271 --> 00:01:20,829
He had all the symptoms.

17
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:24,440
I could have sworn it was Bell's palsy.
More like Bell's whiskey figures.

18
00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:28,689
He'd been drinking heavily before he
came in. He fought with the portents in

19
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:31,100
reception and then collapsed. I want to
know why.

20
00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:32,229
Of course you do.

21
00:01:32,230 --> 00:01:35,849
You want to know why he had to get drunk
before he'd come through those doors.

22
00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,209
He must have heard something.

23
00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:39,889
What do you mean? I mean, when's the
whispering campaign against this

24
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:40,689
going to stop?

25
00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:42,860
There is no whispering campaign,
figures.

26
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:46,469
The man's a heavy drinker, and before we
can help him, we've got to find out

27
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:47,520
more about him.

28
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:51,149
At the moment, we don't even know his
name. He calls himself Charlie, but I

29
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,350
doubt if that's genuine.

30
00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:55,170
And you want me to find out? Yes.

31
00:01:56,190 --> 00:02:00,829
You know, I find that quite a
compliment, Doctor, that you think

32
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:02,950
in me when everyone around you has
failed.

33
00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:06,290
Is it because of my friendly, outgoing
nature?

34
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:09,500
No, it's because you're an interfering
busybody figure.

35
00:02:09,910 --> 00:02:12,850
If he'll keep anything from you, he
should be with MI5.

36
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,850
Hello, Charlie.

37
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,220
Hello. How are you feeling?

38
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:26,970
Terrible.

39
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,330
Blinding headache.

40
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,900
My eyes won't focus.

41
00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,880
A mouth like a parrot's cage. Well, I'm
not surprised you've been drinking.

42
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,880
I may have had a few.

43
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,860
Why do you do it?

44
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:40,080
Makes me feel good.

45
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,480
No, I mean, what's your problem?

46
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,320
I haven't got a problem.

47
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,840
I'm a social drinker.

48
00:02:47,390 --> 00:02:49,650
I just drink to be sociable.

49
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,510
You were fighting in reception.

50
00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:53,990
They wouldn't let me in.

51
00:02:53,991 --> 00:02:55,329
I see.

52
00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:58,089
You think there's something wrong with
you, but you don't know what it is, and

53
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:02,270
you're drinking to forget, to allay your
anxiety. Is that it? No, I'm a visitor.

54
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:03,780
What?

55
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:09,190
I came to visit my son. I haven't seen
him in years.

56
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:14,629
Well, what's your son's name? Maybe I
can get him. No, I want it to be a

57
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:15,680
surprise.

58
00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:20,080
You see, I never got along with his
mother. She was a difficult woman.

59
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:24,799
She always felt she'd married beneath
her. I was never good enough. I walked

60
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,480
years ago.

61
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:33,939
I... I wouldn't blame him if he didn't
want to see me, but I would like to meet

62
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,000
my little baby boy again.

63
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:42,079
Little baby boy? Well, he's grown up
now, of course, but I used to call him

64
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,940
little Prince Charming.

65
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:50,149
I expect she's poisoned his mind against
me, but I would like to see him. All

66
00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:53,400
you have to do is walk down that
corridor. It's second on the right.

67
00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:54,780
How do you know?

68
00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:56,630
Because he's often talked about you.

69
00:03:57,090 --> 00:03:58,470
He's missed you, Charlie.

70
00:03:58,471 --> 00:03:59,589
Has he?

71
00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:04,609
Does he look like me? Yes, he does, as a
matter of fact. You both have the same

72
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:05,910
sort of ooter. Now, look.

73
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:11,369
All you have to do is walk through that
door. There's nothing to it. Yes, but

74
00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:15,029
what will I say to him? Oh, you'll find
the words. After all, blood is thicker

75
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:15,909
than water.

76
00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:17,809
Well, yours certainly is at the moment.

77
00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:22,028
So try and keep off the booze. Well,
that won't be difficult, will it? Not in

78
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,199
this place. That's true. Good luck,
Charlie.

79
00:04:29,281 --> 00:04:36,409
There's no doubt about it, Archie. If
you stay in this hospital long enough...

80
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:40,089
You see all the pathos and drama of
life. You'll never guess who's down the

81
00:04:40,090 --> 00:04:41,140
corridor.

82
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,260
Norman's father.

83
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:43,880
What?

84
00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:47,189
I can't believe it. I thought he'd
vanished years ago. Well, now he's come

85
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:50,289
to see his little Prince Charming.
Little Prince Charming? He's going to

86
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,029
bit of a shock.

87
00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,080
So is Norman.

88
00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:56,010
I think we ought to prepare ourselves
for a very emotional reunion.

89
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,670
You know, I find it rather moving.

90
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:00,980
Well, I don't.

91
00:05:00,981 --> 00:05:04,289
I don't see why it has to bother him
again after all these years. Why can't

92
00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:05,979
leave him alone? He's perfectly happy.

93
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:09,940
This will only confuse him. Oh, come on,
Archie. Every boy needs a father.

94
00:05:09,941 --> 00:05:13,139
Well, where was he when Norman needed
him? Answer me that, Figgis. No, I hope

95
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,580
tells him to get lost.

96
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,390
Typical of the middle class, as
terrified of displaying emotion.

97
00:05:18,391 --> 00:05:22,169
I bet the only time you ever saw your
father was when the nanny brought you in

98
00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:23,069
from the nursery.

99
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:25,989
Well, he may not have been an
affectionate man, Figgis, but at least I

100
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:29,509
him. He was an officer and a gentleman,
and he taught me to stand on my own

101
00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,920
feet. He taught you to stand on
everybody's feet.

102
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:34,760
Well, Norman's not like that, you'll
see.

103
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:38,300
Norman's not like what? There you are,
Norman. Come and sit down.

104
00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:39,640
What's the matter?

105
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,700
Nothing's the matter. I just want a
little chat, that's all.

106
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,390
Do you ever think about your father?

107
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,510
My father? Why, yes, sometimes.

108
00:05:51,070 --> 00:05:54,020
I don't remember much about him now,
only that he went away.

109
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:58,569
Before he went away, did he say anything
to you? Did he give you any reason for

110
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:01,650
leaving? Yes, he said he was going to
fetch a loaf of bread.

111
00:06:03,970 --> 00:06:05,020
Oh.

112
00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:08,090
Do you ever wonder what's happened to
him? Oh, yes.

113
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:12,290
I sometimes dream he's made his fortune
and he'll come back rich and famous.

114
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,190
Er, yes.

115
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,380
But, I mean, if he wasn't rich and
famous, if he came back poor and

116
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,590
you'd still be glad to see him. Well,
yeah.

117
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,670
I'd still prefer it if he was rich and
famous.

118
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,630
But what's the point in talking about
it? He's probably dead by now.

119
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,640
He's not dead, Norman.

120
00:06:29,641 --> 00:06:34,199
How do you know? Because any moment now,
he's going to walk through that door.

121
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,250
Are you sure?

122
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:37,659
Well, he hasn't got his loaf of bread
with him, but I'm sure.

123
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:38,710
My father?

124
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:39,930
Norman.

125
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,960
Life hasn't been kind to him.

126
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:44,920
It's left its mark.

127
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:50,059
He's not the man who carried you on his
shoulders, who taught you how to fish

128
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:52,600
and showed you where the skylark hid her
eggs.

129
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,960
He's not rich and famous. He's humble
and broken.

130
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,739
But that doesn't matter. All that
matters is that you're together again,

131
00:07:01,740 --> 00:07:02,790
and son.

132
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,700
All you have to do is put your arms
around him.

133
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:09,830
Do you understand?

134
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:11,810
Yes, babe.

135
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,030
Good lad.

136
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,080
I think he's coming now.

137
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,560
Dad? Son!

138
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,240
How's Charlie, Doctor?

139
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:40,760
He's sleeping at all.

140
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:43,189
I don't know where he gets hold of the
stuff. He must make it in there.

141
00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:44,690
I shouldn't blame him too much.

142
00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:47,540
He's just undergone a profound emotional
experience.

143
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,270
He's Norman's long -lost father.

144
00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:52,789
Yes, I suppose that would be a profound
emotional experience for anyone.

145
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:56,569
He's not my father. How do you know he's
not your father? You haven't seen him

146
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:59,749
in years. He could have been your
father. You just failed to recognise

147
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,909
didn't fail to recognise him. He failed
to recognise me.

148
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,519
Well, he'd had a skinful, hadn't he?

149
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,939
And do you know why? Because he was
afraid you'd reject him. And he wasn't

150
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:10,519
wrong, was he? Yes, don't turn your back
on him now, Norman. He needs you. Yes,

151
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,840
he needs your help, Norman.

152
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,980
You're his little Prince Charming.

153
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,090
Well, he's not Cinderella, not with feet
that size.

154
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,940
He's not my father. My father had tiny
feet.

155
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,700
Well, maybe the drinks made his feet
swell.

156
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,460
Not to that size, figure.

157
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:26,979
That's true.

158
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,050
And he did have a big pair of plates,
there's no doubt about it.

159
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,879
Well, if he's not your father, whose
father is he?

160
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:33,960
He embraced Archie.

161
00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:38,910
He was drunk.

162
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,919
He would have embraced the hat stand if
we'd got one.

163
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,759
Yeah, that's true. And his conduct was
hardly that of an officer and a

164
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:46,810
gentleman. Quite.

165
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,650
Funny, though.

166
00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:52,939
What is?

167
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,590
Well, the way he went straight to you as
if he knew you.

168
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,500
Well, there's nothing funny about that.

169
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:04,529
He was looking for a son, and I'm a
tall, fairly impressive figure, and he

170
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:08,810
probably chose me in preference to
someone stunted.

171
00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:12,540
Yeah.

172
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:15,320
Funny, though.

173
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:17,870
What are you staring at?

174
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,500
Just noticing what big feet you've got,
Archie.

175
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:22,450
It's quite a coincidence.

176
00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,750
Yes, and they've both got moustaches.

177
00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:26,670
I wasn't born with mine, Doctor.

178
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:30,820
I grew it. I'm sorry, Glover. I was just
noting the similarities.

179
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:31,989
What are you suggesting?

180
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,130
Nothing. Funny, though.

181
00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:37,249
We should stop saying that. All I am
saying is, if he is your father, it's

182
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:40,950
nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, we
can't choose our relations. No, after

183
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:44,409
Archie didn't ask to be born. That's
right, Norman. And if for a fleeting

184
00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:48,430
he decided to turn his back on the poor
wretch, I think we'd all understand.

185
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:52,250
Yes. Look, I keep telling you, that
drunken old sauce is not my father.

186
00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:00,990
son. Don't call me that.

187
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:06,509
I didn't mean to embarrass you, fainting
like that. You were drunk. No, no, it

188
00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:09,989
was just that I hadn't eaten, you know,
the excitement of seeing you, and I was

189
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:14,669
feeling a little bit frail, and these
slippers don't fit properly. I just sort

190
00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:16,010
of went over.

191
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:18,560
Yes, sir, you have got big feet, haven't
you?

192
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,170
Do they run in your family?

193
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,160
I wish you'd stop going on about feet
figures.

194
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:24,850
He had lovely feet.

195
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:30,359
What? As smooth and white as porcelain.
And he had the prettiest little toes. He

196
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,679
used to love you to tickle them. He'd
lie back in his pram, kicking his little

197
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:39,219
legs and gurgling away. You could never
keep the blankets on him. Now, do stop

198
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:41,400
raving on, you ridiculous old man.

199
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,120
Archie! He knows your name.

200
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,940
Well, what does that prove?

201
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,720
Everyone knows my name around here.

202
00:10:48,721 --> 00:10:52,219
Funny, though. If my father came back,
I'd be pleased to see him. I wouldn't be

203
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:55,619
ashamed of him. He's not my father. I've
never seen him before in my life.

204
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:58,220
Please, Glover, don't deny him thrice.

205
00:10:58,500 --> 00:10:59,660
I understand.

206
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,739
It's not his fault. It's mine. He's
never forgiven me for wrecking his

207
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:04,790
engagement party.

208
00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:08,719
It was announced at the Humboldt, you
see, and they were all proceeding down

209
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:13,179
grand staircase, and unfortunately, I
got my foot caught in a loose stair rail

210
00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:17,359
and fell on top of them. Then her father
accused me of being drunk, and there

211
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,759
was a fight. Drunk? Of course you were
drunk. You've been drunk ever since I

212
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,250
remember. You spent all our money on
drink. You made Mother's life hell.

213
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:30,400
I... So he is your father.

214
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:33,990
What?

215
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:36,470
Oh, yes.

216
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,150
Yes, he's my father.

217
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:44,760
That's all I wanted to hear. Those words
on your lips after all these years.

218
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:46,800
Son, I'm back.

219
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,860
Yes, Father, you're back.

220
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:54,659
And if you try pushing that bulbous old
nose into my affairs again, I'll take

221
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,730
you by that scrawny throat and I'll
choke the life out of you!

222
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,580
I know I am, I'm sure I am.

223
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:07,060
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

224
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:15,380
I know I am, I'm sure I am. H -A -P -P
-Y.

225
00:12:29,351 --> 00:12:34,839
to each other yet, figures? Oh,
Charlie's talking, Doctor.

226
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,760
Glover's reading a book on euthanasia.

227
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:41,259
I suppose it was impossible from the
start. They're totally incompatible. If

228
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,319
they're not going to talk to each other,
it won't get anywhere.

229
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,719
Well, maybe we've been going about this
the wrong way.

230
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,380
Maybe we've been trying too hard.

231
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,100
Why doesn't he leave me alone?

232
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,290
My God!

233
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:54,059
It's like trying to get rid of a limpet.
But you can't treat that poor old man

234
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:57,700
like this, Archie. He's not a poor old
man. He's an evil old genie.

235
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:02,050
Someone's left the cork out of the
bottle and he's come back to haunt me.

236
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:04,440
But he's your father. Oh, stop saying
that.

237
00:13:04,441 --> 00:13:06,209
Well, try and remember the good times.

238
00:13:06,210 --> 00:13:07,650
There weren't any good times.

239
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:11,669
But you can't just ignore him. No,
Archie's right. He's just an old drunk

240
00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:13,050
he's better off without him.

241
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:17,149
What? He could change. He'll never
change. You want to take one look at

242
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:18,550
weak, dissipated face.

243
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:20,810
Don't you agree, Doctor?

244
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,720
Oh, yes.

245
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:26,150
Weak and dissipated. And shifty. And
shifty, too.

246
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:29,610
Yes, but he wasn't always like that. He
was a...

247
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,800
He was a fine -looking man in his day.

248
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:35,259
I find that hard to believe, don't you,
Doctor? Yes, he must have changed a

249
00:13:35,260 --> 00:13:36,310
great deal, Figgin.

250
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:39,240
Well, he has. He used to be very good
-looking.

251
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:43,119
That's why my mother married him. Yeah,
and I suppose he married her for her

252
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,170
money. Well, no.

253
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,479
I think they loved each other. Love? I
bet he didn't even know the meaning of

254
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,610
the word. He broke her heart, didn't he?
Well, he didn't mean to.

255
00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,940
I've never known him do anyone any harm.

256
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,160
Not when he was sober.

257
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,410
And he was generous.

258
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,160
He was generous to a fault. He'd give
you his last...

259
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:03,209
Penny figures. He was that sort of man.
And he always carried a little bag of

260
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,730
humbugs to give to children.

261
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:07,870
And he could yodel.

262
00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,810
And whistled through a blade of graft.

263
00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:17,869
And when he gave me a new pair of
trousers, there was always a shilling in

264
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:18,920
back pocket.

265
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:21,570
He used to remember things like that.

266
00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:24,889
Perhaps if...

267
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:28,309
I'd been kinder to him. Oh, you mustn't
blame yourself, Archie. He's not worth

268
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:29,360
it. How do you know?

269
00:14:29,361 --> 00:14:32,429
How can you talk about him like that, a
man who gave you humbugs?

270
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,409
Anyway, what do you know about him? He's
my father, not yours.

271
00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:37,050
I should have been kinder to him.

272
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:42,230
Oh, son, I... Dad?

273
00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:45,980
Have a humbug.

274
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,090
Hello, Dad.

275
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:06,480
How are you feeling? A little tired,
Archie. Well, it's all this excitement.

276
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,050
It's not every day that you find a long
-lost son.

277
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:14,740
Look, let me just make you comfortable,
and then I'll read to you.

278
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:16,430
Again?

279
00:15:16,431 --> 00:15:20,439
Yes, another chapter from Dombey and
Son. You know how much you enjoyed the

280
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,020
one. Do you remember how I used to read
to you and Mother? Yes.

281
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:28,949
I've forgotten what a lovely voice you
have, aren't you? Well, perhaps later. I

282
00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:33,029
am feeling a little sleepy at the
moment. All this love and affection is a

283
00:15:33,030 --> 00:15:34,930
little overwhelming.

284
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,370
Yes. If I can see that you're
emotionally drained.

285
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:41,640
All right.

286
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,110
Well, I'll just straighten your bed.

287
00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:46,860
Oh, what's this?

288
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:49,980
What? It's the top of a bottle. No!
You've been drinking! No!

289
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:53,320
I can smell it on your breast! No, I
have a wine gum, that's all!

290
00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:54,540
Where is it?

291
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:59,739
But it serves you right, you disgusting
old man. I knew you wouldn't keep your

292
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:02,859
word. Archie, I'll never touch another
drop, I promise. That's what you always

293
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:05,620
say, you pathetic old tospot.

294
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,759
Give me land, lots of land and...

295
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:22,000
Dad's in good voice tonight, Archie.

296
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,830
Shouldn't we go along to him? Don't look
at me, Norman.

297
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:30,370
I've given him every chance. I've washed
my hands of him. I can't understand it.

298
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:34,180
Drinking and singing when he could have
been listening to Dombey and Son.

299
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:35,510
It doesn't make sense.

300
00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:39,349
Go to sleep, Figgis. Why wouldn't I go
to sleep when he's going through his top

301
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:40,400
20?

302
00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:42,250
Isn't there anything we can do?

303
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:44,490
I know what cured my father.

304
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:48,630
He was rather fond of the lotion till he
started to see things.

305
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,720
Horrible scaly monsters at the bottom of
the bed.

306
00:16:52,950 --> 00:16:54,270
Delirium tremens, Figgis.

307
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:57,040
They were more like pterodactyls,
actually.

308
00:16:58,030 --> 00:17:00,260
And then, of course, he began to lose
things.

309
00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:01,870
What sort of things?

310
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,810
Well, things like Mondays and Tuesdays.

311
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:08,100
He'd wake up with his mind a complete
blank.

312
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:10,130
He didn't know where he'd been.

313
00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:13,769
You mean like Ray Milland in Lost
Weekend? Woke up one morning and found

314
00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:14,820
accused of murder.

315
00:17:14,970 --> 00:17:20,609
Well, no -one accused him of that, but
that sort of thing... Oh, dear, oh,

316
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,310
I wish he'd have a lost weekend.

317
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:26,749
Do us all a favour. Yes, or delirium
tremens and have a horrible monster at

318
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:27,800
bottom of his bed.

319
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:29,780
Yeah, that's an idea.

320
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,660
You're not doing anything at the moment,
are you, Norman?

321
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,250
Johnny! What?

322
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:43,660
What?

323
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:45,830
I just wanted to get our story straight.

324
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,450
Where have you been all night?

325
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:49,510
What do you mean? I've been here.

326
00:17:49,511 --> 00:17:52,299
Well, that's your story, is it? Right,
well, as long as I know.

327
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,179
Only I thought we ought to say we were
together.

328
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:58,399
Well, we weren't. I've been here all the
time. Good. I can see they won't catch

329
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:58,939
you out.

330
00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:02,299
Only they're making inquiries about the
damage to the wheelchairs.

331
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:07,379
What? I don't know anything about any
wheelchairs. That's right. You keep

332
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:09,639
that and you'll be all right. No, but
it's true.

333
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,680
What? Now, wait a minute. It was your
idea to race them down the corridor.

334
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,600
What are you talking about?

335
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,400
Now, can't you remember?

336
00:18:17,401 --> 00:18:21,069
We had a few drinks. I don't know what
you put in that stuff, but it's

337
00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:23,030
effective. My head's still throbbing.

338
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:24,550
I can't remember anything.

339
00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:27,289
Well, you must remember breaking the X
-ray machine.

340
00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:29,810
I told you it wouldn't take a group
photograph.

341
00:18:29,811 --> 00:18:31,069
What?

342
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,810
I've been asking about that as well.

343
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:34,250
It's not true.

344
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:38,349
What's going on? Archie, can you say
your father was with you all night? Only

345
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:42,130
there's been a spot to bother. The X
-ray machine, Archie, is not true.

346
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:44,809
Just a minute, Figures. Are you trying
to tell me that my father's been on some

347
00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:45,689
sort of...

348
00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:51,029
Drunken escapade? You could say that.
Not true. I've been here all the time.

349
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,740
father may be many things to guess, but
he is not a liar.

350
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:57,269
If he says he's been in this room all
night, I believe him. All right, all

351
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,509
right. If you don't believe me, then ask
Norman.

352
00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:00,650
Norman! Norman!

353
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:02,480
Norman,

354
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:09,549
has my father left this room tonight? I
should say, sir, what a night. I've got

355
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,600
a terrible head.

356
00:19:10,601 --> 00:19:11,709
Thank you.

357
00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:13,030
That's all I wanted to know.

358
00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:18,120
And he got on his face.

359
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,080
He looked hideous.

360
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,790
On his face?

361
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:27,160
I didn't see anything on his face. Did
you, Piggott? No. It was like a mask.

362
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,410
Norman?

363
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,880
Yes? Are you wearing a mask?

364
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,630
No. I thought not, thank you. That's all
right.

365
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:43,320
I swear, I'll never touch another drop.

366
00:19:56,431 --> 00:19:58,079
feeling today?

367
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,520
Much better, Archie. Oh, yes, I can see
you're feeling better.

368
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,990
You've put a picture of Mother by the
bed.

369
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:09,200
Well, that's not your mother, Archie.
What? Well, who is it? Mrs.

370
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,450
Clapton. Mrs.

371
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,770
Clapton?

372
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,860
Oh, yes, I can see it's not Mother now.

373
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:17,080
She's much younger than you.

374
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,320
Well, a few years, yes.

375
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,760
Is that a split skirt?

376
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,230
Yes.

377
00:20:22,231 --> 00:20:24,679
What's that she's got written on her
hat?

378
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,730
Kiss me quick.

379
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:31,979
We were on a day trip, Archie. It's one
of the things I wanted to talk to you

380
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,030
about. Mrs.

381
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,050
Clapton and I are thinking about getting
married.

382
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:42,100
Married? Oh, yes, of course. Father, you
must have been lonely. But don't worry.

383
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,000
From now on, I'm going to look after
you. Mrs.

384
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,580
Clapton looks after me.

385
00:20:46,581 --> 00:20:48,999
What, you mean you live together?

386
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,660
Yes. You mean you don't?

387
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:54,850
Yes.

388
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,050
Still?

389
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,810
At your age?

390
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:05,800
I'm sorry, but I find that rather
distasteful.

391
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,740
Particularly as I can sense Mother's
presence in this room.

392
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,260
Archie, we wanted your blessing.

393
00:21:13,261 --> 00:21:15,039
No, no, I'm afraid that's out of the
question.

394
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,939
But look, Father, I've got some very
good news for you. When you get out of

395
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:20,110
here, you're going to come and live with
me.

396
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,370
And you can do the cooking. Now, you'd
like that, wouldn't you?

397
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:25,430
Archie, I... Oh, yes, of course you
would.

398
00:21:33,431 --> 00:21:38,879
I must congratulate you on your father's
improvement.

399
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:42,560
He seems a new man these days. More
miserable and morose, but fitter.

400
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:47,059
Thank you, Doctor, yes. I feel that I
have been a great comfort to him. I'm

401
00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:48,110
you have, Glover.

402
00:21:48,111 --> 00:21:51,079
Yes, I'm just going off to read to him
now. He enjoys it so much.

403
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,940
I'm trying to stimulate his interest.

404
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,270
Well, don't expect too much all at once.
Don't take his day to count.

405
00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:59,190
I wouldn't go down there if I was you,
Archie. He's resting.

406
00:21:59,191 --> 00:22:02,559
Oh, well, in that case, I'll just sit by
him. I wouldn't. Why, what's the

407
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,400
matter? He's overtired.

408
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,880
Overtired? I'm sorry, I couldn't stop
it. Father!

409
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:14,320
Don't look like that, Archie. Give it a
smile. You've been drinking.

410
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,819
Whatever I have, life's not all Dombey
and Sunday. Don't come near me, you

411
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:22,519
disgusting old man. Mother was right,
helping you was a waste of time. We must

412
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,470
expect the odd momentary lapse, Glover.
Momentary lapse?

413
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,080
He's as drunk as a skunk.

414
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,100
It's all right, Doctor. I haven't been
drinking.

415
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,220
What? I just couldn't take any more
Dombey and Son.

416
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,400
I wouldn't mind, but after that he's
threatened me with little Dorrit.

417
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,360
I mean, he's a nice enough lad, but I
couldn't live with him.

418
00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:53,040
Tell him I'll see him again after
another ten years, eh?

419
00:22:56,140 --> 00:23:01,139
Fig? Yes, Norman? If a tall, bearded
stranger arrives carrying a loaf of

420
00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:02,200
and asking for me...

421
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:04,310
Tell him to get lost, will you?

422
00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:21,600
Yes,

423
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:26,290
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

424
00:23:26,870 --> 00:23:28,650
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

425
00:23:48,081 --> 00:23:50,179
if you want.

426
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:54,730
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